Are you as sick of Marvel’s new marketing gimick as I am?

Tonight... I unleash... ADVERTISING EXECUTIVES!!!

(Get it?  600?)

Marvel has had a veritable 600 bonanza these days.  First with Thor.  Then Cap.  Next Amazing Spider-man and The Incredible Hulk.  Okay, I suppose four doesn’t technically qualify as a bonanza, but even so.  For some of these issues they’ve had to include character appearances in other comics.  Spider-man just celbrated his 500th issue about three  years ago. And in Captain America they just outright skipped issues to get the number.

I’d bet your Aunt Sally that Quesada, Loeb and Bendis are sitting at a Krispy Kreme trying to figure out how to get X-Men and Fantasic Four to those numbers in a few weeks.   “Maybe we can count mini-series!”  ”What if we count all the teams Wolverine is on!”

And so far, I’m not sure what the point is.   The media hype surrounding Captain America #600 isn’t necessarily a fiasco… but I don’t think it worked.   Especially considering that Steve Rogers didn’t return in the issue.   In fact, despite the fact that it was a solid issue, not a whole lot happened.  Aside from some solid character moments, the whole thing came down to this:  ”Oh my god!  I found a ray gun that tells me Steve might be alive! ”

And if I could just step out on a tangent for a second, how exactly does she know he’s alive based on the fact that the gun is wierd?  What is it about her dream that told her that?  –Tangent ended.

The 600th issue of Amazing Spider-man deals with the wedding of Aunt May and should lead into the Red Headed Stranger arc which brings Mary Jane Watson Parker back into the fold.  It all sounds good, especially considering how depressing the book has been at times.  And I’ll probably buy it– for the story.

Thor’s anniversary issue featured the lord of Asgard being banished for accidentally killing his Grandfather.  Status quo: officially changed.  This is the type of thing that should happen in an event comic.  Still, Marvel had to count all previous Thor volumes, plus his Journey Into Mystery appearances to reach the 600 milestone.

Lastly, The Incredible Hulk will have a 600th issue, but the details of how they get that number are so mind-bogglingly complex that it isn’t even worth going into.  The story itself will lead directly from Jeph Loeb’s work with the Red Hulk, and— you know what? That’s all I’m saying.  That’s enough.  I plan to buy the book and burn it in effigy, using the flames to roast marshmellows.

"Hulk flex sexy biceps. Hulk feel fat lately."

What bothers me is that this new scheme is clearly a marketing gimmick.  But I have to wonder who it’s really aimed at?  Did the internet crack in half when they changed the Captain America release date to Monday instead of Wednesday?  And in fact, did it even sell as well as Marvel hoped?  Remember, people were more interested in the Death of Superman than they were in his return.  And let’s face it, if you’re buying Red Hulk stories, you’ll get Incredible Hulk. If you’re not, that won’t change just because Greg Pak is back on board.  (Or maybe it will. I don’t know.)

Comics’ sales and advertising should primarily be focused on the fans, not treasure hunters.  Because it is we who make or break a book.   I don’t need you to change the numbering of a book.  Just tell me something good is going to happen.  Or in the case of ASM and Incredible Hulk, just make it a consistently quality book and I’ll buy it every week.   Cap and Thor are already there.  People are buying these stories because they’re brilliant.   No extra sales pitch necessary.

Stop with the advertising focus.   No more anniversary issues every 3 months.  No more giant event banners on every book.   Barack Obama doesn’t need to be on every other cover.    Just make great comics.

If Brubaker and Fraction write it… they will come.