I totally wanna do the ‘Safety Dance’ right now.

Batman and Robin

There’s nothing funny about this.  It just kinda merits pointing out.

Batman Widening Gyre

Batman wasn’t too pleased when he found out Jay and Silent Bob would be making cameos in his latest mini-series.   “Dude, it’s a Batman comic.  I mean seriously…”

Teen Titans

Garth learned the hard way.  Never listen when strange girls tell you its “only a rash.”  NEVER.

JSA

The JSA had never known evil until they faced their newest enemies…  DR FATE AND THE BROTHERHOOD OF MIDGETS WITH BIZARRE SKIN DEFORMITIES AND/OR LAME COSTUMES!

Scalped

Welcome to Grant Morrison’s subconscious.

Jimmy Olsen Special

Oddly, for a guy named Assassin, he didn’t seem to understand how guns work.   *Hint:  they’re not swords.  Don’t swing them at shields.

Second take:

Despite the fact that Kellogs new cereal, Confidential tasted great when dunked in milk, sales plummeted.  In retrospect making their mascot a red-haired nerd with a bowtie and back acne may have been a bad choice.

Dark Tower

Dead bodies and Beer Bongs;  just another night in New Orleans.

(Jason, if you make a button out of that slogan, I want a cut of the profits.)

GOTG

There’s nothing creepier than disco dancing superheroes. That’s why they keep killing Dazzler.

Riftwar

20 years from now, Angelina Jolie’s adopted children would force her to answer for making them go to school in New Orleans.   “We were better off in Somalia, Bitch!”

$55.99; Sunday on Pay Per View

Hercules

Hey, wasn’t this an episode of Futurama?

Second take:

This is what every day feels like for Lindsay Lohan.

Wolverine Origins

Daniel Way plans to kill Wolverine’s franchises one way or another.

(Okay, yeah… not a great joke, but it was that or David Carradine.  Take your pick.)

Alright, I’ll try to do better next week.  I’m a little exhausted.  Check out some of my newer articles.  The book of the week is here, and last week was a particularly strong week. I also have a short piece honoring the ending of the Brubaker/ Lark era on Daredevil.